Tuesday, January 12, 2010

From His Perspective ~ Part 3

Part Three

Okay, you’ve been very patient so far, so on to the fun part of the story. =) I had sent my good friend Ben to Thailand ahead of me to capture footage for the video project. Somewhere along the way, Ben decided that Anne and I would make a good couple and figured that must be a the underlying motivation for my trip. Of course, I was *completely* focused and hit the ground running: using the few days that we had available to finish the video script and tape the narration. One evening, along the Thai-Burmese border, Ben came into my room and asked me point blank if I was interested in Anne. The first thought that came to mind was, “Lie!” but instead I said, “Yeah…I am. Is it that obvious?” His smile assured me that it was. “Do you think Anne knows?” was his next question. I responded with, “No…I don’t think she… um, yeah – she must know.” Duh, what was I thinking? Anne is a bright girl and must have known of my interest for some time now. Suddenly it dawned upon me that my “secret evaluation tactics” had failed, and the situation had become serious. I had better figure out the next step in our friendship, and quickly.

I had come on this trip asking the Lord to give some clear details for future ministry. Not only did he give me clear direction in that area, but it became quite obvious that Anne was the perfect complement to this plan of action. Not wanting to be swayed by the excitement of the moment, I quietly spoke with my two missionary friends about Anne and then took these thoughts back to my Pastor. He gave some wise counsel on how to move from a casual friendship to a “get to know you” stage, with the purpose of seeing if Anne and I were suitable for marriage. I’m so grateful for his care and instruction, as well as the new preaching series on Biblical principles for getting to the marriage altar. =) It was all very helpful, and I was grateful that those who knew about our situation kept things quiet so that we could move toward commitment without any extra pressure from the excitement of friends.

Now, you have to understand that although Anne and I had known each other for over 3 years, I didn’t know her family at all. That was the big unknown factor: how would I get along with them, and how would her Dad respond to my desire to pursue marriage? Well, the only way to know was to ask. After compiling my “Getting to Know Anne profile,” for my family, and receiving Dad and Mom’s permission to proceed, I took the matter to Mr. Hammond. I asked if Anne and I could talk with each other directly, for the purpose of seeing if we were compatible for marriage, and he said, “Yes!” Well, I didn’t waste any time, but dropped off a book of questions for Anne and I to discuss over the phone. Then I phoned Anne to let her know what I had set in motion. Guess what? She wasn’t taken by surprise. =) LOL, actually, I knew that…I just wanted to make sure that I followed the right order of events.

So, we set off on a mission to ask the most important questions we could without getting our emotions involved (Yes, I can see those smiles). We soon learned that was impossible, so we did our best to stick to subjects that would be ‘deal breakers’ and tried to limit our conversations and interaction to a few phone calls per week. At the same time, I was trying to interact with her family and discuss things with my family, so that they would both be up to speed with our discussions. Anne and I wanted to move toward commitment as soon as possible, so that we didn’t have to stay in the awkward middle-land of close friendship/courtship any longer than we had to. Finally, after much prayer, many phone calls, and seeking counsel of my pastor and parents, I was confident that I should move forward with the proposal. I received the final permission from her Dad and set out for the most difficult task yet – surprising Anne. =)

1 comment:

Kristen said...

My favorite part of this section is that the first thought to come to his mind was "Lie!" Hahaha