All I Ever Want To Be.

I drove down to Philly Thursday night and woke up Friday morning at 6:30 to incessant crying from my nephew... apparently someone was ready to start his day! As I gave Andrew his medicine and fixed his breakfast, I hummed along with the music I had playing in the background and blissfully noted that I was still hanging out in my pjs; and at 7:45 too! On a normal day, I'm usually drying my hair and making a mad dash towards the kitchen to have a quick breakfast at that time. But this morning I experienced the more relaxed side of a Friday morning.

After spending the day watching my nephew, I have reconfirmed the thought in my mind: someday I would like to gladly turn in my last timesheet at work and be a stay-at-home-wife-and-mother. Now I know that being at home is more work than going to work, and it takes a lot of hard work to run a home smoothly and be a sahw! I have many examples in my church of ladies who stay at home and who know they are fulfilling the role God has placed them in.

I absolutely love listening to my nursery team talk about their daily lives and even our last time in the nursery we had a conversation about how my life is now compared to those ladies and how their lives were at my age. One of the girls was talking about how she was married by the time she was 20 and how she is sure I would like to be married too, but in the meantime I am enjoying my single years. And I am enjoying these years. Right around the time I graduated from high school, a lot of girls in my church were getting married at 19, 20, and 21. I've blown past those years;o) and that's ok. I think about Anne of Green Gables and how 25 was considered to be an "old-maid" age in that period of time. I would rather be "old-maid" and single, than "married" and in a marriage that is not God-honoring.

I told the girls on my nursery team that I'm in the "sit-still-my-daughter" stage, found in the book of Ruth (3:18). It's not up to me to pursue every Ezekiel, Jacob, and Paul (or any other guy for that matter;o)... and just for the record, I don't know any guy by those names:D). I've dated once in my life, (well actually twice, if you count the guy and I being so shy that we never talked to each other, but through a third party; I was in 6th grade then)...anyway when I was 15 and newly saved I dated for a couple of months, and when it ended, I told myself I would never do anything like that again. Sometimes my family questions my decision to wait for God to bring the right one along, and sometimes I even wonder if I'm sane!:) But my God is faithful and His way is perfect.

Have I ever wondered? Yes. Do I get discouraged? At times, yes. And to be honest, the innocent questions that come from well-meaning people does tend to get frustrating. But I stand on this: if a man is to lead his family and has been given the responsibility by God, why would I ever want to pursue after a man in the hopes of catching him? If I'm not to lead in the family, why lead in a courtship? But sometimes this can be hard to convey to a generation that grew up with dating and girls pursuing boys.

I am thankful to God for all the different opportunities He has given to me now. Life does not begin at marriage; rather, it is something to be experiencing now! Babysitting my cute, adorable nephew every Friday is just one of the many purks!

All I ever want to be,

Is what you want of me, Lord.

I give myself to You.