Saturday, October 7, 2006

All I Ever Want To Be.

I drove down to Philly Thursday night and woke up Friday morning at 6:30 to incessant crying from my nephew... apparently someone was ready to start his day! As I gave Andrew his medicine and fixed his breakfast, I hummed along with the music I had playing in the background and blissfully noted that I was still hanging out in my pjs; and at 7:45 too! On a normal day, I'm usually drying my hair and making a mad dash towards the kitchen to have a quick breakfast at that time. But this morning I experienced the more relaxed side of a Friday morning.

After spending the day watching my nephew, I have reconfirmed the thought in my mind: someday I would like to gladly turn in my last timesheet at work and be a stay-at-home-wife-and-mother. Now I know that being at home is more work than going to work, and it takes a lot of hard work to run a home smoothly and be a sahw! I have many examples in my church of ladies who stay at home and who know they are fulfilling the role God has placed them in.

I absolutely love listening to my nursery team talk about their daily lives and even our last time in the nursery we had a conversation about how my life is now compared to those ladies and how their lives were at my age. One of the girls was talking about how she was married by the time she was 20 and how she is sure I would like to be married too, but in the meantime I am enjoying my single years. And I am enjoying these years. Right around the time I graduated from high school, a lot of girls in my church were getting married at 19, 20, and 21. I've blown past those years;o) and that's ok. I think about Anne of Green Gables and how 25 was considered to be an "old-maid" age in that period of time. I would rather be "old-maid" and single, than "married" and in a marriage that is not God-honoring.

I told the girls on my nursery team that I'm in the "sit-still-my-daughter" stage, found in the book of Ruth (3:18). It's not up to me to pursue every Ezekiel, Jacob, and Paul (or any other guy for that matter;o)... and just for the record, I don't know any guy by those names:D). I've dated once in my life, (well actually twice, if you count the guy and I being so shy that we never talked to each other, but through a third party; I was in 6th grade then)...anyway when I was 15 and newly saved I dated for a couple of months, and when it ended, I told myself I would never do anything like that again. Sometimes my family questions my decision to wait for God to bring the right one along, and sometimes I even wonder if I'm sane!:) But my God is faithful and His way is perfect.

Have I ever wondered? Yes. Do I get discouraged? At times, yes. And to be honest, the innocent questions that come from well-meaning people does tend to get frustrating. But I stand on this: if a man is to lead his family and has been given the responsibility by God, why would I ever want to pursue after a man in the hopes of catching him? If I'm not to lead in the family, why lead in a courtship? But sometimes this can be hard to convey to a generation that grew up with dating and girls pursuing boys.

I am thankful to God for all the different opportunities He has given to me now. Life does not begin at marriage; rather, it is something to be experiencing now! Babysitting my cute, adorable nephew every Friday is just one of the many purks!

All I ever want to be,
Is what you want of me, Lord.
I give myself to You.


Abbi said...

Amen, sister- stand firm! And puh-leez?? You make it sound like you're ancient or something with your "I've BLOWN past..." You're not OLD, girl!

And I have to say that there must be a particular joy to experiencing auntie-hood before parenthood. My sister and I are ecstatic to be in this Mommy-thing at the same time and we wouldn't change a thing. But there would be something so neat about being an auntie first, and really enjoying it before starting to have your own babies, I would imagine.

Keep enjoying them and enjoying your single time. You WON'T regret it!!

Michelle said...

I just wanted to say that you are amazing! You stand high on what you believe in and you're so honest with us all. I know in my heart that God has a perfect plan for all of us and he in his time will do whats perfect for you.

I love that you are so faithful to the Lord as he plans out your life.

I wanted to say also that your not an old maid yet my dear sister. I love you with all of my heart and I know that you will come to know the joys of motherhood and wifehood soon my sister!

Love ya bunches!

Anonymous said...

I know exactly how you feel! Sometimes it is kind of difficult when I am with my married sisters and their families. It makes me see what I am missing! But I realize that the Lord has a perfect plan for me. He is always right on time! (By the way, I am 27--I am old! Just kidding!)

Anne said...

Abbi ~ You're right; it is a great joy to my heart to be an auntie. I wouldn't trade the timing of it all for anything in the world! I feel real blessed to be able to help my siblings out and to just enjoy all the kiddos:o) And I know I'm not *that* old...;)

Michelle ~ Love ya too sis!

Rebecca ~ That statement is so right... the Lord does have a perfect plan for each of us:o). And you're right about 27 not being old... one of my dear friends is 28 and I never think of her as *old*; she's just a little *older*, that's all!